Christopher and Lou. Artists, musicians, gentlemen , and snappy dressers. And they share the same last name as 2 important characters in Honk Honk, My Darling. Immortality: Assured.
Say hello to Aaron H., a veteran deputy sheriff from Wyoming. . Aaron's the father of 3 kids, but also a children's book author, BUT ALSO the host of the podcast Not Top Secret. Even a busy man like him can take the time to write a nice email to me, so I nominate him for Etiquette Officer in the Worldwide Garner Army. Do what he says, or else you're coming down to the station.
Meet Mikhail D., a fan from the village of Bolshoi Moretz, in Volgograd, Russia. A schoolteacher by trade who loves his family, travel and chess, he is going to prove very useful as Minister of Educational Chess Travel for the WGA.
Tibor is a fan from Slovenia, and is VERY good at camouflage. I would've sworn this was a pine tree. Tibor is now the head of clandestine surveillance in the World Wide Garner Army.
Here's the lovely Veronika A, a fan living in Rostov-on-Don, Russia. She loves photography and showing parts of her world, so I'm installing her as photo correspondent for the Worldwide Garner Army.
Veronika A enjoying the glare of the sunset.
One of Veronika's evocative photos.
Veronika's kitty cat.
Stephanie works at my LCS, and apparently moonlights as an interior decorator. Her discerning eye and stylish Rex Koko shirt mean that she has been appointed Style Czar of the Worldwide Garner Army. Congrats, Steph!
Jingyang sent me some beautiful pics of his hometown of Changsha and the countryside. Smart kid, going places, I'm installing him in the Garner Army Press Corps.
Here's Jingyang in the famous Tianxin Pavilion Scenic Area in Changsha, built in 1946.
This is the famous Taiping Old Street in Changsha. Jingyang reports, "People come and go every night. It is very prosperous and popular." I'd love to visit here!
Ree runs a music studio in Melbourne, Australia, and obviously likes to multitask.
This is my pally, Chu, who is a college student in Shanghai. With him is his high school science teacher, who inspired him to pursue science in college. Congrats to both of you for joining the Worldwide Garner Army, and for protecting the public health. Happy Year of the Tiger to you both!
This is a photo from Denis G, of his hometown of Agidel, in the Russian Republic of Bashkortostan. Do you see Denis in the photo? No? That's why I'm appointing him head of the Security and Surveillance Agency of the Worldwide Garner Army. He's the best -- you'll just have to take my word.
This is Alan N., a writer, attorney, general wit and recovering blueberry farmer. He wears a Rex Koko shirt because it is snazzy, jazzy and oh so savvy.
Winnie from Kenya just sent me a nice picture of her reading my first book. She's also a writer (she has a story in Akashic's collection "Nairobi Noir"), and has dreams of opening a bookstore someday. Nice to connect with you, Winnie! When you open the store, let's do a remote author visit (or maybe I'll just fly to Nairobi, you never know).
Order your Rex Koko t-shirt, and you can be as happy as Tema!
Say hello to my fan Matvey (the one on the left). Matvey lives in Sayansk, which is a small city in Irkutsk. Yes, Risk players, THAT Irkutsk! Because of that, and because he has an assistant made entirely of Legos, I have installed Matvey as the Gamesmaster and Keyholder in the Worldwide Garner Army.
Victor F is a chill fan from Shugozero, a village near St. Petersburg. He loves sports and collecting autographs.
Here is Victor F with his favorite football star, Artyom Dziuba, of the football club FC Zenit St. Petersburg.
This is Sayido, a reader from Tajikistan. He is a huge reader, and has enjoyed all the PC Bedtime Stories series. "I love my books!" Welcome to the Worldwide Garner Army, my friend!
This rough, amazing terrain is from Sayido's Tajikistan. He didn't say if it was outside his door, or miles away.a
And here are Sayido's books. If you look carefully, you can spot some school awards on his wall.
Daniel C, a native of Tyumen, Russia, who has recently graduated and will study painting at the Institute in Yekaterinburg. Great job, Daniel!
a painting by Daniel C., en plein air
Another painting by Daniel C of Tyumen, Russia.
It's Ivan K, my pal from Ukraine, and his lovely mom. He wrote to say he loved the PC Bedtime Stories trilogy.
Ivan K, enjoying summer in Ukraine.
Here's Kristina K, a proud resident of Moscow. She praises the city's museums, palaces and new shopping malls. Because she obviously knows her way around Red Square, I am appointing her Logistics Coordinator, First Class. Thanks, Kristina!
It's my pally Ivan M, from Bryansk in SW Russia. He tells me that the spray-painted profanity and dumpster-diving horses aren't common in his city, but "I want people to create even more stereotypes about Russia." Ivan has been installed as Minister of Snark in the Worldwide Garner Army.
It's Vataliy, who hails from Mariupol in Ukraine. Behind him is the city's landmark Sea Trade Port. He says his favorite books are Apocalypse Wow and Double Indignity, which proves he's one smart pally. Cheers, Vitaliy!
Ivan V is from Orsk, 15 km away from the Kazakhstan border in Russia. Here he's on TV to discuss his large autograph collection and how important it is to wear socks while on camera.
This is Dmitry, who hails from Vologda, Russia. I have appointed him Minister of Transportation because of his sweet ride. Vologda has a museum of home utensils called The World of Forgotten Things. Muse remember to visit there.
Here's Sergey S., a fan from Moscow, soaking up all the summer rays.
Artem from Belarus is such a good big brother that he emailed me for a special autograph for his sister's birthday. Arina is a sweet 10-year-old now. I also sent them some extra stickers and trading cards. Stay cool, my friends.
It's Dasha G, a 20-year-old fan from Bashkiria in Russia. She loves to needlepoint and travel, and her favorites from PCBS are "The 3 Little Pigs" and "Cinderella." Thanks for the picture, Dasha, may all your dreams come true.
Dasha 2
Dasha 3
Artem is a new pally from Polotsk, a village in Belarus. He's an autograph collector and all-around cool dude. Thanks for the photo, Artem!
This is Eugene, a new pally who lives in Minsk. Eugene loves to travel, and tells me he loves his mother's borscht and potato pancakes (draniki), though his favorite food is pizza. Thanks for the picture, Eugene, and welcome to the Worldwide Garner Army!
This is Jaoquin, a fan from Argentina. He has a keychain collection he started when he was 5, and now has more than 500. He is officially the Keeper of the Keys in the Worldwide Garner Army.
Congrats to the students of Williamsburg (IA) High School, and their teacher, Amy Degen, for making it to the state Speech Competition with their version of PC Bedtime Stories! They earned the highest rating at 2 contests, which gained them a spot in the state meet. It always cheers me to see kids get excited to perform my stuff.
This is my pally Mikhail, from Orsha in Belarus. He just ran a half-marathon, because he thinks the Worldwide Garner Army has fitness standards. Keep going, Mikhail! Somebody's gotta get their exercise around here!
Uri is a chef living in Kiryat Bialik, Israel. As he stands here at the Giro d'Italia when it came through Israel, you can tell he likes to cycle and stay fit. Keep on reading and riding, Uri!
Meet Dmitry, a trim 17-year-old recruit. He's from Shilovo, a small town in Central Russia. Since PC Bedtime Stories is hard to get there, he reads them on the old internet, and recommends them to his friends. Hail Dmitry!
This is Romain, a very tall fan from Belgium. When the Army wants to put the angel on top of the artificial winter celebration tree, he's the guy we call.
Jon Van is a barber, a drummer, a motorcycle enthusiast, and a kinker from the git-go. He's the only guy I trust to manage the remainder of my measly hair. If you'd like a barber shop that offers beer, Johnny Cash music, a big dog named Bob Seger, and no sports talk, head to the Irving Park Barber Shop.
Anneliese and Bianca D sporting their standard issue "Rex Koko" black fatigues. Putting the Ya in Umm Ya Ya
This is Nikita M, the newest recruit to the Worldwide Garner Army. Looks like he brought some firepower with him! Thanks for the picture, young man.
The lovely Nastya, from Khabarovsk, in far southeastern Russia. Here she's relaxing on Olkhon Island in Lake Baikal. Even her rock has a name: Shamankathe". As a fan of freshwater seas like the Great Lakes, I'd really love to visit here. Thanks for enlisting in the Garner Army, Nastya!
The lovely Nastya, from Khabarovsk, again. She's enjoying the splendor of the Sayan Mountains, on her way to Lake Baikal. Does that paintbrush in her hair mean she'll get out the paints and canvas soon? Doesn't this pic make you want to travel everywhere?
Is it me, that is, Rex Koko? No, it's my first cosplayer, Matthew, now wielding the seltzer bottle of justice. Way to go, pall;y!
This town is just one big circus, tailor-made for a clown like me....
Meet Yasur M., a new recruit of the Worldwide Garner Army. He’s from Termez, a city in Uzbekistan across the river from Afghanistan. He likes his music and his travels, as shown by the pic of St. Isaac’s Cathedral in St. Petersburg. Thanks for the pics, Yasur!
Matt out of his Rex Costume, but still rocking the Top Town lifestyle.
Meet Lewis J., one of the standouts of the Worldwide Garner Army. Lewis wanted to raise money for the Birmingham Children’s Hospital in England, which had been very good to his brother when he was born with cerebral palsy. So he asked me for some autographed books to auction.
Way to go, Lewis! I’m pleased and proud to enlist you in the ranks.
Lewis J.
Lewis J.
This is Miloslav K., a new recruit in the Worldwide Garner Army. He’s from Lithuania, and has obviously supplied his own uniform. Hope it doesn’t get too cold in winter. Thanks for the pic, Miloslav! Keep on reading!
The fabulous Pearl, actress, model, rock-climber and No. 1 Rex Koko fan. Thanks for the pic, pally!
Yasur
Meet Yana Y. A., the latest recruit in the Worldwide Garner (Nonviolent) Army. She lives in Ekaterinburg, the fourth largest city in Russia, out on the Asian steppes. Thanks for sending your picture, Yana, and I hope your springtime is beautiful.
Jeffrey, working out so he can be like his hero, Rex.
Meet Reza E., a new member of the Worldwide Garner Army, from Teheran. Can you dig that? A pally from Iran who seeks out clown noir and is savvy enough to understand that crazy world and lingo! And you can’t bother to learn to read a menu in Spanish?? With Reza with his friend’s animal companion, Daisy.
The Worldwide Garner Army would like to welcome Makaela P into the ranks. She’s from Chichester, England, and likes to read for a hobby. Cheers, Makaela, glad you liked the pub coaster I sent you from Chicago’s Revolution Brewing!
It’s my pally Charlie V, in the Philippines, proving that the mail system does STILL work. Keep reading, Charlie! Salamat po!
Julia S lives in Volgodonsk in southern Russia, but here she is on vacation in Moscow, atop the bell tower of Ivan the Great. Mostly destroyed during Napoleon’s invasion, the tower was rebuilt in the 19th century, and now houses bells from the XVI-XVII centuries. How cool is that? Thanks for sending the photo, Julia, and joining the Worldwide Garner Army. (She’s our lookout by default now.)
Congrats to Sara Given and her students in the Mexico (Mo.) High School Reader’s Theatre, who earned 2nd place in their recent District Competition, and will be headed to the Missouri State Finals in April ! Way to go!
Their text was Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, and they won IN SPITE of that! That takes talent!
East across the frozen steppes, the GARNER ARMY continues its path of conquest. Here is the beauteous globetrotter Olga M, from the City of Izhevsk, capital of the Udmurk Republic. She asked me to send her some souvenirs from here, so I sent her a head shot and my water bill. Lookit that nice smile! Happy new year, Olga!
The GARNER ARMY marches on through Eastern Europe, despite the lack of physical books over there. This is Eugene L, a fan from Vinnytsia, Ukraine, who likes my e-books. I trust this scene is a little snowier right about now. Thanks for sending the pic, Eugene, and keep on reading!
This is Fady, a member of the Worldwide Garner (Nonviolent) Army from Lebanon. He's an international autograph collector and own more than 11,000
autographs. So, by default, he's in charge of our paperwork.
The fans of the Garner Army march on! This is Oleg L, who hails from Usman, in the Lipetsk Oblast in Russia. This is about 250 south of Moscow. It’s home to some of the oldest mud-bath spas in the country, but it looks like Oleg is a little too young and vital to spend his days like that. Rock on, Oleg, and keep on reading!!!
Oleg
Oleg
Hello, Garner Army! Please say hello to Deepak S., a reader from Moradabad, India! He likes to travel to see historic sites. He’s standing in front of the Jaivana, the largest wheeled cannon ever constructed. Too bad the Garner Army is nonviolent, because everybody could use a cannon like that! Nice ordinance.
Deepak S.
Deepak S.
This is Victor, a JFG fan in New Mexico. He tells me he’s been a fan for many years. And that that is a tomato plant in his hands.
Victor, welcome to the Garner (Nonviolent) Army!
Starting them young in Israel. Thanks, Rotem, for sending pics of our new recruit!
Another officer in the Garner Army has sent in her picture. The lovely Diana D. lives in Kazan, in the Tatarstan Republic of Russia. That’s the 8th biggest city in Russia, and its “Sports Capitol”. Diana says I am her idol, but she hasn’t heard me try to play piano. Thanks for the picture, Diana!
The lovely Rita A is a fan of mine, studying piano and clarinet at the Conservatorio di Musica “Antonio Scontrino”, in Trapani, Sicily. We had a nice FB chat the other day, when I should have been writing. She said she loved snow but had never seen it in person, while I looked out my window to watch another six inches land on Chicago. Buonasera, Rita!
Rita A
Here are a few pics from a generous fan of mine. Alexandr K lives in Kolchugino, Russia, which is a fair hike Northeast of Moscow. These are pics of his family ( I assume that’s his granddaughter). Can you dig the outdoor spa? Thanks for sending them, Alexandr. Beautiful family.
Feeling a serious case of person-of-snow envy
My charge d'affair in the Garner (Nonviolent) Army Rotem sent these pics from Israel of what he calls his “latest project”. Nine months in the making, with four months and counting in post-production. Rotem tells me he is a male pre-adult, but will not be confined to traditional gender roles. A born reader, obviously. Congrats on your growing family unit!
And now, the Garner Army spreads eastward to Siberia. This is Evgeniya, a fan from Novoaltaisk. She’s 23, a philologist, and now a general in the Worldwide Garner (Nonviolent) Army. She didn’t send the usual pictures of Siberian snowdrifts, because it looks like all the winter from there ended up here in the Midwest. Thanks Evgeniya! (You can take your weather back now.)
This is Ura, a fan of mine from Bolgorod, Russia, near the Ukrainian border. He’s a poet working at the airport there. Keep on writing, Ura!
Sonya C is a fan of mine from Yaravoe, Altai Krai, Russia. Not sure where exactly she’s running (any hints are welcome), but I do love this picture. Thanks for sending, Sonya!