On Sunday, the front page of the Trib editorial section had a weird piece of nonsense about the “issue” of Barack Obama’s smoking habit. The normally sensible Charles Madigan strung together a patchwork of non sequiturs that made me think I was reading a tract directed at junior high kids rather than the rational thoughts of an adult. The thrust of Madigan’s argument was:
1. Smoking is bad for you.
2. The president is a role model, and might encourage others to smoke.
3. Addicts don’t belong in the White House.
After some comments mocking Eastern European countries and their smoking habits, Madigan stated that Obama wouldn’t be able to govern the country because, as a smoker, he wouldn’t be able to stand up to Big Tobacco:
The last thing we need is someone on the campaign trail who cannot answer questions about tobacco honestly because he is, himself, addicted, no matter how much he tries to minimize the frequency of use.
Personally, I’d rather have a smoker in the White House than a dry drunk. And if you want to talk about political addicts, how about the politicians who consistently raise taxes on tobacco products? They themselves are addicted to the taxation shell game of exploiting people who are addicted to tobacco. If there were more smokers in politics, maybe they’d have a little pity and try to find another captive audience on which to balance the budgets.
What I can’t figure out is why Obama decided to wait until now to stop smoking. Not enough stress in his life? Burned too many holes in his coats? Hell, I say let the guy have a cigarette so he can relax and think a minute (something else missing from the White House).
What I think Obama should do now is have a formal B&W portrait taken, like one of those old Hollywood glamor shots of Gary Cooper or Claude Rains, of him in a very tailored suit, with a burning cigarette in his big, graceful hands. It would be a way to say, “Y’know what? I’m human, I smoke, and frankly I like it. All the image doctors tell me to stop–probably more insistently than my medical doctors–and I’m tired of it. I’m not going to die of cancer in the next four years, I’m a young man, and I want to do my job. And if needs be, I’ll step outside the Oval Office on the porch and smoke there, just like every other Joe in an office. Just leave me alone to have a drag once in a while. I promise I won’t start a fire in the Lincoln Bedroom.”
(I don’t want any lectures about making light of the dangers of smoking. My father smoked for 30 years and died at the age of 50. I got to watch its effects up close. Of course it’s bad for you. But to worry whether it can affect a president’s job is asinine. Find something substantive to judge him on.)