MLB All-Ramones Team

1B Johnny Mize
2B Joey Cora
SS Didi Gregorious
3B Ramon Castro

LF Tommy Davis
CF Johnny Damon
RF Johnny Callison

RHP Ramon Martinez, Tommy Hunter, Joey Hamilton, Mark Fidrych (honorary)
LHP Tommy John, Ramon de los Santos, Johnny Vander Meer

Mgr. Tommy Lasorda

2015 Baseball Predictions from Sgt. Pepper, Part 2

Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: “Being for the Benefit of Mister I”

For the benefit of Mister I
The Tiges will give another try
At a Series ring
In the race four times before
Then they’re always shown the door
Damn, it stings
.
.   But with Cabrera and two Martinez
.   The hits should still be raining in Motown
.   If God wills, Alex Avila doesn’t get hurt
.
Yeah, Max Scherzer hit the road
The Nationals can bear that load
(He will be missed)
David Price might have the stuff
But does the bullpen have enough?
Let’s check the list:
.
.   Phil Coke is gone, and Rick Porcello,
.   Which leaves Soria, Albuquerque and Nathan
.   Climbing higher? Dumpster fire? Who the hell knows?
.
Castellanos will be there
We’ll marvel at Cespedes’ flair
In center field
Ian Kinsler leaps and spins
Let’s hope Iglesias’ pins
Have really healed
.
.   Twisting the government ’round his fingers
.   Is not enough for Detroit’s pizza king
.   Which is why Mister I keeps spending his dough….

2015 Baseball Predictions from Sgt. Pepper

A little twist on stale prognostication, from Bardball:

Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: “When I’m .204”

For the Yankees:
.
When I get older, losing my speed,
Not so long from now,
Will you still be batting me at DH,
Late-game left field, riding the bench?
When the Yanks are down 17 to 3,
Count on me to score.
Will you still play me,
Will you still pay me,
When I’m .204?
.
Every contract season there’s a vet’ran on the trading block that could fill a need
. . . CC, Gardner, A-Rod, Beltran . . .
Then in March he wrecks his knees,
Hank, is this your plan?
.
Farm system looks like a north Texas ranch
In 1933.
By August we’ll be chasing after Tampa Bay
All our prospects traded away.
Reflexes wane and muscles are sore
“On deck: Dumbledore!”
Will you still play me,
Will you still pay me,
When I’m .204?

A Monstrous Christmas Season

Spurred on by my limerick for “White Zombie”, Hilary Barta over at Limerwrecks has spent most of the season posting paeans to old horror movies. Here’s one I contributed for ol Doc Frankenstein:

His raising the dead’s not a living
and townsfolk are most unforgiving
But Doc isn’t crying
His monster’s undying
A gift that will never stop giving

Go over and enjoy the other ones.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

To celebrate the wearin’ of the green, I present here a video of me nephew’s band, Grand Rapids’ most popular Irish band, The Waxies! Give em hell, me boyos, and one fer Uncle Jamie!

Branden blames me for getting him hooked on Irish music and history, because one night I went on too long with snippets I remembered from college history class. Didn’t know I had the rabble rouser in me, but maybe it just takes the right audience. I can take the blame for the black cap as well. I lent it to him once, and have given up hope it will ever make it back (not that I’d want it at this point).

For more on the Waxies, check out their Facebook page and their MySpace page.

Slainte!

Daily Beatles Video? Rah-THER!

My Brother Hungerdunger Stu Shea has started a new project to harness the awesome power of Youtube. Every day, he plans to post a video with information about that day in Beatles history. Here’s the first installment:

We ‘Dungers have been talking for months about how to take advantage of the brave new world to further our book sales, careers and general income levels. Stu is the first to dive head first into the video posting scene, to help promote his Beatles book FAB FOUR FAQ, plus the other Beatles books that will be bubbling out of him in the years to come. I think it’s an excellent synthesis of his skills at reporting, writing, singing and playing. So please tune him in. There might not be a lot of funny shots to the crotch, but you never know.

New King of Pop Music

I’ve known Lou Carlozo for a number of years. He’s an excellent writer, a thoughtful editor, an energetic teacher, a generous Hungerdunger, and an all-around mensch. I’ve also known he plays a little music. But in all the time I’ve known him, I didn’t know how kick-ass he plays that music. Now that his first CD is out, all I can say is “Wowsa!”

“Stick Figure Soul” is a sweet hour of pure powerful pop, written by a guy who should be old enough to have soured on the siren song. Yet Louhasn’t given up on the hope that music can take us to the next step. I completely recommend it for anyone who wishes Matthew Sweet were president, Tom Petty UN Ambassador, and Roger McGuinn the Ombudsman for Kickin’ Down the Road a Piece.

I strongly urge you to go to the myspace page for “Stick Figure Soul” to hear more music. Like all good pop, it sticks in your head quickly, and stays there comfortably. Oh, and the lyrics are great too.

Pro Team Fight Songs: Curse or Blight?

Don’t you just love pro team fight songs? More specifically, don’t you love the songs for your hometown teams and find those for other teams absolutely horrifying?

Then check out Zulkey.com today, where the irrepressible Miss Claire has put together a mix tape of all the fight songs she could find. Disco, heavy metal, dixieland, mambo–it’s all there. She even found a song for the minor league Lansing Lugnuts. Minor in stature, only, but big in spirit. I’m sure the people of Lansing just dance the night away with “Go Nuts!”

Most of the nation no longer has regional beers, local department stores, or non-chain restaurants, but at least we can still enjoy some pep for the local team!

Pavarotti on WFMT

Such sad news that Luciano Pavarotti, blessed with such a divine voice, finally succumbed to the fate of all mortals. Can any of us imagine what it would be like to be born with a voice like that? To be the greatest tenor in the past 70 years? Since I don’t run an opera company, his diva antics and his unreliability don’t have any effect on me (I might feel differently if I’d had opening night tix and he couldn’t haul his carcass out of the bathtub to perform.) I’d say we’re lucky that the diva antics were as predictable as they were, given the temptations of celebrity these days. At least they didn’t ruin his voice.

Oh what a thrill it must have been to see a titan like that in his prime, on stage in “Turandot” or “La Boheme”. That’s one big reason I love opera, and live performing in general: The chance to see finely trained talent at its peak, bring down a spark from the heavens. I saw John Malkovich and Gary Sinise in “True West” many years ago–so long ago that Malkovich still had some of his hair. Stupendous. And I’ve been lucky enough to see Sam Ramey a number of times at the Lyric Opera, along with Bryn Terfel, Renee Fleming and many others. Vita brevis, baby. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to see someone as electrifying as Pavarotti cross the stage again. I doubt I will, but it’s fun watching and waiting.

His passing has had one bright spot: continuous programming on WFMT featuring his operas, concerts, and interviews. Check out their home page for highlights.

Music Update

What’s playing, not on my iPod, but on a continuous loop in my fleshy brain that will only stop replaying by the merciful intercession of Death:

“Hell is for Children” by Pat Benatar

(Thank you, oh-so-ironic college deejays at WLUW. Wait till someone pulls this kind of crap on you when you’re 45 with a Britney Spears song.)

An Avuncular Shout-Out

People in the greater Grand Rapids area, you are hereby advised to check out the Hibernian hotness of that great new band, THE MOLLY MAGUIRES, playing this Saturday at Dillenbeck’s Coffee House at 7 pm. (Dillenbeck‘s is located at 1059 W. Fulton, on the west side of town by John Ball Park.) Recently recovered from their St. Paddy’s festivities, the Molly Maguires will rock the house with their own songs, plus (I’m guessing) some Pogues, Black 47, and Dropkick Murphy ditties.

Why am I hotter than an Irish landlord about the Mollies? Because my nephew and godson Brandon is their guitar hero and songwriter. He’s got the chops, and not just the mutton chops.

This will be their first public performance, so get out there and shout your encouragement. You can check out the band’s myspace page here. Slainte, boyos, Slainte!

Rock n Roll Hates Pop

Iggy, that is. Once again, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame passed over inducting Iggy and the Stooges and gone for the really controversial acts, like the Ronnettes and REM. Way to go out on a limb, fellas.

I’ve got nothing against the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It does give a person something to do while visiting Cleveland, beyond reenacting scenes from “Stranger Than Paradise.” I just wish the design was a little more interesting. Check out my suggested design in this previous post.

For a real hoot, check out the YouTube flick posted on pandagon. At this 1970 Stooges concert, you get to see the young and virile Iggy toss himself into the crowd numerous times while singing “TV Eye” and smear himself with peanut butter. And in a hilarious touch, the concert is narrated by a broadcaster in a suit and crew cut who tries to explain what is happening on the screen. “Iggy seems to have disappeared from view…Nope, there he is….”

Ach, the music these kids listen to today…it’s just noise.