My name is Curtis, this is my gun,
Just try and stop me from having my fun.
I need a haircut, my gal some ink done,
And a bacon chili burger with ranch-style Funyuns.
Hey, you govs! We the People have spoken
And don’t give a shit about public contagion!
It’s called FREEDOM, pal, very hard-won,
Though your pussification’s already begun.
You see Old Glory? THOSE COLORS DON’T RUN!
We’ll face any threat, even teeny weeny ones.
Trump said the virus dies in the sun
And is out golfing now — America’s not done!
We’ll come back stronger, give or take a lung
And clear out defectives. Job overdue: Done!
Real Americans will survive–loud, white, rotund–
Knowing we’re right because of our guns.