Trump targets PBS. HBO evicts the Muppets. Classic children’s TV needs to rethink its message or it will no longer be our preferred video babysitter.
SESAME INDUSTRIAL PARKWAY
In this informative, fast-paced show, kids will learn the skills they’ll need to get along in the new, re-shored economy, like counting overtime hours and controlling your pee until breaktime. Those tiny nimble fingers shouldn’t be wasted on clapping and drawing and holding hands—they’re needed on the looms of America’s reborn textile industry!
“Sunny day, working all clouds away…”
KA-BLUEY!
Australia will always be our preferred locale for post-apocalyptic struggle. In the spirit of George Miller (creator of the “Mad Max” pantheon, as well as “Babe the Pig”), Bluey and his pals will show how the fight for survival on a post-nuclear landscape is always better with friends. Emotions are okay to have when you watch your world burn!
THE COAL-FIRED ELECTRIC COMPANY
Crypto and Artificial Intelligence are our future, and they both need lots of energy. But what happens on cloudy days? Clean, beautiful coal will create the power to broadcast this show, which shows pre-teens the fulfilling careers that involve digging in the dirt with their hands and blowing the tops off Appalachian mountains.
OLIGARCHY ROCK
This lively animated music series explores how American government works now, with fun sing-along songs like “The Money Laundromat on the Corner,” “Jailing the Opposition Jig” and “Access! Who Wants Access?!” All songs created by AI and available on Spotify.
U.S. Grant and the builders of America.
THE MAGIC HOMESCHOOL BUS
Mrs. Frizzell (partner in a traditional marriage, of course) takes her large brood and a couple neighbor kids on adventures that explain patriotic history, American exceptionalism and solid Christian values. No science lessons or DEI content here—there are too many root causes of the Civil War to learn!
DORA THE SELF-DEPORTER
Cutie-pie Dora, along with her monkey pal Boots-on-the-Ground, teaches kids survival techniques as she tries to find her way through the jungle back to her homeland. ¿Donde es la border patrol?
WHERE IN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?
Your guess is as good as ours.
