Big changes ahead that you will never notice.
(Originally from my Substack page.) When the Necrosis Zone mystically merged with your reality through violent galactic conquest last quarter, we at the Reverso Cabal did it with valued customers like you in mind.
Now your previous reality can take advantage of the improved service, market synergies and streamlined soul-eating dynamism that are the hallmarks of Necrosis Zone culture. Soon, you’ll begin to see changes in your monthly account statement that will reflect the changeover to your new Reverso-Reality account.
As a long-valued customer of your former reality, your compliance is important to us. We at the Necrosis Zone know you have many choices in the market – or so you’d like to think – and we plan to take advantage of that. Realistically, your only choice now is our Reverso-Reality. Our only goal is to make you love it as best as possible within your obvious limits.
WHAT’S NEW IN THE REVERSO-REALITY?
The merger of the Necrosis Zone and your reality will simplify your life in many ways. No more worrying about which leader to trust, which religion to follow, or which philosophy can guide your life. They’ve all been replaced by our basic Everything Is Fine™ plan, which lets you get on with life, quickly and without hesitation.
We’ve worked hard to make sure your transition to Reverso-Reality is completely seamless. Your typical day and your reality outlay will be the same, as long as you stay focused only on what’s directly in front of you. The things you’ve come to rely on – a sense of hope and progress, an appreciation for good people, satisfaction for hard work, a feeling that strong vision and sustained effort leads to desired outcomes – will still be there on the surface for all to see. Enjoy them and take comfort from them if you need to. We’ll keep doing our job. The outcome is the same: synergy!
WHAT CAN I LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE NEW REVERSO-REALITY?
In the new Reverso-Reality, you will be able to work, play, and live your life without the hassles that came with the previous reality. You’ll never have to worry again about job loss, displacement or having enough saved for retirement. Your family will be safe and happy in the extraction pods next to you. Just keep living your life, all the time! We’ll do the work on our end to make sure that disruptions and setbacks never reach you so you can keep working 24/7—how’s that for productivity!
You’ll still enjoy the simulacrum of a full, satisfying life, while we extract the life essence you produce for our own special projects. You’ll never even notice it’s missing. Meanwhile, that extra essence goes toward research, manufacturing, resource extraction and conquest to the furthest edges of consciousness. You’ll be part of a vast reality-harnessing system that will make things better for everyone (the Reverso Cabal most of all). All you have to do is trust us.
Have we mentioned synergies recently? Because there’s a lot.
WILL MY MONTHLY COSTS GO UP?
Your monthly costs will stay the same, and in many cases go down. Your lifetime costs in an abstract sense will see a dramatic change, however, which we will outline in a later email, if you’re still able to pay attention.
WAIT, IS THERE SOME HIDDEN TRICK TO ALL THIS?
Not on your life! We at the Necrosis Zone have been completely transparent about our plans, our organization and our attention to you. And we will continue to be. Turning you into a soulless drone and extracting your life essence to keep everything going is what we do! It has worked in countless galaxies and parallel realities, and it will work for you.
And even if there were a hidden trick, the results are the same. Your gods and heroes have been defeated, Hope strangled and Consciousness paralyzed – and the result is the Everything is Fine™ Plan! We offer the best reality around. Just ask anyone. We’ve eliminated the competition for your soul, quite literally, and pass the savings of time and worry to you. There’s nothing we can’t do – for (and with) you!
I LIKE MY OLD REALITY. CAN I SWITCH BACK?
Sure! We won’t say no. If it brings you peace of mind, go ahead. Be advised, though, that you will never know whether you actually are switching back to your old reality, or just think you are. That’s the beauty of Reverso-Reality! At no additional charge, we’ll tell you what you want to hear and continue with our plans anyway. How’s that for a bargain?
The end result: This fait accompli becomes a GREAT accompli!
And synergy!
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I HAVE QUESTIONS?
It’s natural to have questions about such a new, exciting system of being farmed for 100% of your life essence. Don’t worry, we have planned for every contingency. Your questions, when you can even formulate them, can be sent to gapingvoid@reversoreality.net, and they will be deleted in the order received. We’ll also sign you up for our twice-daily newsletter, which reiterates the information in this letter in slightly different wording, so you will always be informed about the same repeated things. And that’s important.
Congratulations on reading these terms of service to the end. It’s quite an achievement, and a legacy to be proud of!
We here at Reverso-Reality value your business, while acknowledging that you cannot take it anywhere else. Welcome to the Necrosis Zone team! You’ll love it here, you’ll think!
Now, please return to your pod.