Scraps

* This morning, at 7:46 Eastern time, America welcomed its 300,000,000th citizen, according to the Census Bureau. He then managed to pimp me out of the last parking space in the lot.

* Speaking of pimps, the gentlemen with the bling are one of the biggest Halloween costumes this year, at least from what I can see at the transient stores that pop up in empty storefronts. Pimps and pirates this year. Hmmmm. Is there a political joke in there?

* But considering how slutty the other costumes are getting, it’s hard NOT to imagine having pimps around.

* Hey, Dr. Frankenstein: Re-Animation is Murder Backwards!

* I’m trying to figure out a way to keep our pumpkins safe from the hordes of ravenous squirrels in the hood. Thinking of spraying them with oil mixed with Thai hot sauce, but I’m afraid they’ll start to like that little endorphin rush and keep coming back for more, looking for jalapeno poppers or something.

* I was all set to make a stand this fall, and not bother to watch any football at all on TV. I had plenty of reasons–the main one being that, if a guy follows more than one sport, he’s got too much time on his hands. And what do I get for my resolve? A Chicago Bears team that apparently employs witchcraft to win games (see last night’s failed field goal by Arizona) and a Michigan team that might make it to #2 by the time the Ohio State game rolls around. Great. Just great.