because where else can you pick up interesting news stories like this one, from the Great Lake State?
Jail Officers Urge Inmate to Strip and Run Around for Cherry Pie
The two jail officers were fired, of course, but my heart goes out to the inmate. I mean, it must have been one hell of a cherry pie. Michigan’s famous for them.
Thanksgiving visits are prime opportunities for this kind of news. While there certainly are strange-but-true stories wherever you go, a visit to your birthplace and the fields of youth make these stories stand out even more. I’ve got my reasons for not living in Michigan, and fair or not, my mind absorbs these kinds of stories at this time of year and congratulates itself on making the wise decision to move to Chicago. It’s probably all tangled up with nostalgia and regret and the Oedipal need to break away. The fact that Michigan is chock full of wackos certainly helps.
Since topics of conversation generally dry up after 24 hours, or about one-third into the trip, holiday visits are generally the only time I ever watch the late local news. And what the hell is that except a parade of freaky stories about hit-and-runs, trailer fires, parade preparations and the crowds expected for the Friday after Turkey Day shopping orgy? Any prolonged exposure to local TV talking heads will make you think the world’s fate is in the hands of grinning idiots. Maybe if we’re lucky, there will be some good video of hordes of shoppers stampeding into stores on Friday. Teacher says, Every time a shopper is trampled underfoot, an angel gets his wings.
If you’ve got some time to kill online, go to this fabulous timesuck:
http://www.mms.com/us/dark/?zjxj=01200004W9001117W24W0
it’s an M&Ms ad for their dark chocolate, a Heironymous Bosch-style painting full of word puzzles about famous horror flicks. Supposedly there are 50 movie titles hidden in the painting. After more than an hour, I’ve only been able to find 38, and that’s even with movies that I’ve never seen. If you get a better score than me, let me know.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.