Now that Chicago has dug itself out from under its only measurable snowfall of the year, we get to enjoy the sight of everyone’s broken lawn chairs in the street marking dibs. Visitors might be forgiven for thinking we’re extra proud of our street debris (like we get a whole lot of visitors in the ‘hoods in February anyway). For a portfolio of photos of dibs markers, click here. Did you know a cardboard box filled with snow counts as a dibs marker? Neither did I.
I’m not a fan of dibs marking, but on the other hand, I’ve got a garage so I don’t really care. But my wife heard a story this week from a woman who shoveled out her car and set up her dibs markers. I don’t remember what it was–an aquarium, an old bidet, a human skeleton, whatever. Later in the day she comes home and finds that someone has tossed her marker up on the lawn and replaced it with their own. It’s not even a new car, mind you, it’s just a new dibs marker. Undettered, the woman knocked that crap out of the way and parked her car in the space.
The next morning, she finds a note on her windshield asking, “Why did you ignore our markers?” And then, the genius wrote his address on the note! If you haven’t had your morning coffee, I suppose a dose of blind rage and righteous indignation will fill the bill. The first woman goes up to the house and knocks on the door and confronts the bozo about claiming he shoveled out the space and put up his marker fair and square.
His forthright comeback? He blamed his wife for doing it. And his wife was within earshot at the time.
Dibs marking. A true test of character.