Yesterday’s Papers

This morning NPR reported that Osama Bin Laden has issued a new tape, decrying the cartoons of Mohammad that had been printed in Denmark in 2005. 2005! Such a sad development. I know he’s out of touch, but that shit is so old! Did he deliver his remarks on an 8-track? And he also said the new crusade against Islam is the handiwork of Pope Benedict. Sorry, Sammy, but if you want to sound hip by referencing The DaVinci Code, at least get the plot right.

This career trajectory has a high-pitched whistle accompanying it, literally and figuratively. What’s next? Run-ins with the paparazzi? An embarrassing dance number at the MTV Music Awards? Pictures of him getting out of cars with no underwear on? I don’t think the Islamic masses are going to be very happy with seeing Sammy’s camel. Oh, how the lowly have fallen.

2 Replies to “Yesterday’s Papers”

  1. For some reason, I think he’s a closet Heart fan. I can see him rockin’ around the cave to “Barracuda.”

    Do the Wilson sisters really sound that much like those guys who call people to prayers? Yes indeed.

Comments are closed.