These Die-Hards Would Make Bruce Willis Puke

So Ryan Dempster got a case of the jumps last night and couldn’t keep the ball anywhere near the strike zone, and the Cubs lost to the Dodgers. Hey, it happens. That’s why it’s called a sport. It was a lackluster showing, but the Cubs have too much talent to go quietly (knock wood). I’m looking forward to Dempster pitching again and kicking ass (don’t ask me about Ted Lilly).

But what pissed me off so much more than the loss was watching the po-faced Cub fans in the stands. My gosh, people, you were a disgrace! Watching it on TV was like watching a class in macroeconomics–I expect more catcalling at tonight’s veep debate!

In the fourth, when Dempster was getting behind the batters, you all got on your feet, but did any of you cheer your support? No, you held your breath and crossed your fingers like a bunch of third graders! Don’t you think Dempster would’ve like a little encouragement? He had Manny Ramirez down 0-2, and none of you made a peep! And don’t say it was because the network didn’t have enough mikes on the crowd. We could see you behind home plate, with worried looks on your faces, waiting for yet another smack in the face from Destiny.

Do you think the Sox fans would have been so quiet? Do you? They made a hell of a lot of noise during their do-or-die games this week, screaming and waving those black towels. They WANT the Sox to win. They don’t feel like the Sox OWE them anything except to play their best and give them a few thrills.

You Cub fans looked like a bunch of ninnies, like kids praying for Santa but worried he’s going to come home drunk again and start peeing on the Christmas tree. You were a disgrace to the city. A spineless, superstitious, crybaby disgrace.

The next time someone brings out the old cliche that fans on the South Side are more knowledgeable about baseball, and that North Siders just want a good time at the park, I’m going to point to last night’s game and agree wholeheartedly.