Fear of the Butt-Bomb

Going through security at the airport is a big enough hassle, what with the scanning and the wands and the possibility of a strip search. But thankfully, it looks like cavity searches for explosives will not be coming in the near future.

The possibility of blowing up an aircraft with a strategically hidden “keister bomb” is still only a terrorist’s homoerotic wet dream, according to experts who talked to the Kansas City Star:

A month ago in Saudi Arabia, a terrorist named Abdullah Hassan Tali’ al-Asiri reportedly walked past palace checkpoints with a small bomb inserted in a body cavity. Judging by the al-Qaida video featuring him proudly holding a device before committing the deed, it was about 3 inches long.

He wanted to blow up a Saudi prince but succeeded only in blowing off his own bottom half and destroying the floor, killing himself in the process.

“The force of such an explosion would be in the direction of the easiest exit,” said the Missouri University of Science and Technology researcher and inventor of explosives, who more or less laughed off the threat.

“The rest of the body would work like a sandbag against the blast… though it would be a mess.”

The article is worth reading for the readers’ comments at the end. Nothing brings out the sophomoric humor quite like exploding suppositories.

Seriously, is that any way that a martyr would want to show up in paradise? My guess is, once he’s in the front gate and has been patted on the back, the questions would start — “The bomb was where? Did you put it there yourself, or…..?” — and wouldn’t end for all eternity.

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