Remember When “Rendition” Meant Someone Covering a Song?

I neglected this blog last week for a number of reasons. For one, I bought a new VAIO to replace my rapidly degenerating Presario (the thing has started to act like HAL at the end of 2001, though it hasn’t started its singing act yet). Too many hours have been spent trying to get the new laptop to act like the old laptop, without all the old laptop problems. Still a long way from finishing the project, so in my little corner of the basement, in addition to every other mess, I’ve got two laptops covering all my available desk space.

I’ve also been in a state of excitement waiting for the new “King Kong” to open. A friend of mine from the Tribune who saw it last week said it was excellent, and doesn’t drag during its three-hour run time. Has anyone else noticed that the movie is opening across the country on National Monkey Day? It’s no coincidence, I’m sure.

Oh, and I was trying to find some sardonic angle to explore on the whole torture business. You know, whether the US does it, and if so, how, and who really believes Bush and Co. give two figgy puddings what Europe thinks about it. (IMO, Condi Rice’s trip is just an excuse to show off her new dominatrix boots.) Torture’s just such a lovely topic to discuss during the Christmas season, isn’t it? Makes you feel all warm and cozy, especially when you bite into a nice, warm gingerbread detainee.

What kind of angle might work? An Andy Rooney curmudgeonly take (“I don’t know what the whole thing about torture is. You want torture? Try opening a bottle of Advil with the child-proof lid”)?

A Garrison Keillor, wistful and reserved (“We liberal arts majors never gave much thought to torture, even as we dissected the Marquis de Sade—figuratively, of course”)?

Unfortunately, I was unable to figure out how to type the onomatopoeic sound of one more part of my hope for mankind being shorn from inside me like guts scraped from a pumpkin, so I just left the blog blank. And vowed to stick with monkeys from now on.